I am an Angel

I am an angel. I live amongst you. But if you look for my wings, you won’t see them. But I am here. I am everywhere. I sit beside you on the subway. I stand in front of you in line at the grocery store. I idle behind you in traffic.

I am a teacher.  I am a waiter.  I manage your money. I pick up your garbage.

I am a wife.  I am a brother. I am a child.

I am heartbroken. I am homeless. I am distracted. I am in physical pain. I am paralyzed. I am an addict. I am diabetic. I have ended my life by suicide. I live alone in the woods. I am medicated. I am mentally ill. I am divorced. I have lost a child, a friend, a pet. I am a refugee. I undergo biopsies. I miss game winning passes. I am a monk. I am adopted. I have a disease.  I am infertile. I am jobless. I have been abused. I have been raped. I am penniless. I am you.

Because of all that I am, I cry. I scream. I blame. I curse the injustices of life. I am impatient, frustrated and jealous. I lash out. I gossip. I hate.

And then I remember, I am an angel. I know that everything I experience is here to help me find my wings. And when I am no longer afraid of the depths of my grief, and the waves of my anger. When I forgive, release blame and judgment, I realize my higher purpose, and find my wings.

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How will you know me?

When adversity strikes, you may most easily recognize me. I am the one flapping my wings, allowing all my feelings to both gracefully emerge, and leave when they are ready. I welcome all that arises in my life to stay as long as it wishes, knowing that chasing or wishing it away, is but an invitation to linger.

Written on my wings is the saying, All is Well. When life goes my way, and also when it does not. I am at peace in the face of war. I am curious, not fearful. I am aware, not asleep. I pray. I light candles. I volunteer. I love without borders. Fate guides my minutes, hours and days. I walk the path from breath to breath, from beginning to end, allowing whatever is in my heart to arise. I understand my choices will not dictate my life, but will impact how little or greatly I will suffer.

As the wind increases and remits, as do the tides, I allow life to unfold as it is meant, and this is when you will see my wings spread far and wide. For I know, all that I go through is for a higher purpose. And I begin to see life in all its beauty – the depth of love, the glorious colors of autumn, the awesomeness of the human heart that sheds tears as it heals. I share. I help others. I let all the angels whose wings are hidden, know that all is well.

I look like you. I act like you. And that is because you are an angel, too. Until you find your wings, I will share mine.

 

Inspired by the teachings of Matt Kahn.