Life is hard! Life is also beautiful, fun, joyous and unpredictable. The times of joy are easy, wondrous and we feel happy to be alive. But how do we handle the difficult times? How do we handle life when the going gets tough? Do we get going, face our challenges or do we stand still, feeling helpless?
Not many things in life have mimicked what Covid has brought into all of our lives. Inherent in this pandemic are many opportunities, ones that bring us to our knees, while simultaneously lifting us up to meet our higher self. Covid has brought out feelings of helplessness, fear, anger, grief and regret. It has pushed us all to take a closer look at our priorities, relationships and our self. It has asked us whether we are running too fast, not truly looking at the state of our affairs or avoiding inevitable endings and the grief that goes along with change. Covid has asked us to turn towards, not away from our desire to check out, distract and distance our self from our past. It has required us to rethink our future, and hone-in-on what the present is truly asking of us. Covid has asked us to Awaken! And when something or someone wakes us up, there are five normal reactions we have to this change. Shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
It is not coincidental that these reactions closely resemble the stages of grief. For with all change comes loss, death and grief. If we become stuck in any one stage, we never get to the other side, to the gifts of change which bring rebirth, possibilities, love we never knew possible and a joy for life we cannot imagine. Where do so many of us become stuck? Anger!
Anger is not only a part of change, it is the fuel behind all the stages. Anger is expressed within our denials! “This is not fair!” “Why me?” “Fix this now!” It is also the backbone to bargaining, in which we are pleading for another to make this all go away, rendering us helpless, resorting to victimhood. Depression is anger turned inward, but it is the necessary stage towards surrender, and eventual acceptance. It is this glorious opportunity when we accept change, and face the challenges head on, we once again turn to anger, but in a very different way. We use it to forge ahead, away from victimization into empowerment, and eventually, healing.
Our lives are always pulling us towards change, and healing. We are here to evolve, change and grow. And while some of us have had individual challenges that have woken us up, given us opportunities for healing, all of us are experiencing this now because Covid has handed this to us on a silver platter. It is up to us, to find the silver linings, to choose to see Covid as an opportunity or a curse. Whether we find it or not, eventually comes down to empowerment. What is empowerment?
The definition of empowerment “is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” We do this through anger. We come to understand that anger was often modeled for so many of us in unhealthy ways. Either passive-aggressively or flat out, aggressively. Some of us have been conditioned that anger is not a good emotion, that we are being “mean” or “bitchy” if we express anger. We watch others lash out, instead of feel. React, not respond. Become disrespectful, in place of courtesy. There are also manifestations where anger has been turned inward, creating self-blame, self-harm and helplessness. The buck stops here!
Anger is a beautiful God given emotion that helps to empower us. It lets us know when our boundaries have been trampled, and our feelings dismissed. When we are being treated with less compassion, kindness and respect. It tells us where we are resisting, and it diminishes our illogical fears. It provides us with fuel to make changes that are necessary in order to move through the stages we have been forced to face with Covid.
Anger is the fuel for blasting through our unconscious blocks that are clogging our filter, holding us back from change. Anger energizes us to confront those that hurt us, while giving us fuel to clean up our clutter and our lives. It helps us to name the truth, holding others accountable for their transgressions and strengthens our allegiance to our self. It is the cornerstone of self-love and we simply cannot heal, live a life of joy, abundances and peace without it.
The next time, anger rears its beautiful head, when Covid initiates a fight with your sense of fairness, obliterates your routine and does not seem to want to leave you alone, allow it to fill up your senses. Be with it as your friend, and allow it to guide you to a sense of empowerment. It has been said that when we feel angry, we see the color red. Dorothy did have the power all along, and perhaps it was her ruby “red” slippers, her sense of anger, that allowed her to feel empowered, giving her the key ingredient to finding her way back home.