When our Inner Child needs some Well-Deserved, Conscious Parenting.

It was not until moments after a long meditation, when I was lying in a pile of my own bliss, that I let go of the idea of becoming thought-less.

Ironically, that morning, upon returning to my body, I was thought-less—for a whopping three seconds. It felt strange, amazing, beautiful, yet also, fleeting.

For 10 years I had attempted to become thought-less during meditation. And if I hadn’t heard the saying, “We are not our thoughts” from almost every spiritual guru, I might have given up long ago. That morning, something changed. Perhaps I was ready to hear the truth, or I had just had enough of trying. Either way, it was time to give up.

Moments later, I received a download from the Universe. I saw the image of my thoughts as an extension of myself, only it was my child-self. When my thoughts were at their most abundant, she, meaning me, was having a temper tantrum. Ruminating, worry, fear were all manifestations of her trying to get my attention. To wake me up.

The Universe then asked me a question: “Would you follow a toddler into a full-blown temper tantrum, screaming along with her in the toy section of Target, or worse, would you give the toddler what she is demanding reinforcing the behavior?”

As a parent, I knew the answer was no.

I also suddenly knew meditation was never about becoming thought-less as a goal but about creating the space for self-reflection to emerge. And what was unfolding was one juicy insight—that the child inside of me needed some well-deserved conscious parenting.

My first role as the parent was to improve our communication. I tried to reason and was rebuffed. Then I got down on the floor and looked her in the eye. Gently, I said, “I hear you. I see you. You can do your thing and think whatever you want. You can go to the past and think about what you could have done better. You can worry about the future. You can think you will not have enough time to get everything done, or wonder if people will hurt you. I will be waiting right here.”

She turned and stared at me for a few moments, seemingly confused. “You mean you are not coming along?”

“No,” I replied. “But you go ahead. I am just going to do my thing here. To just be. Rest. You can yell as loud as you need.”

I got that she wanted me to join her or it would not be as much fun. I got that she was shocked. I also got that I was on to something.

She tried again to lure me in with our old pattern. She was not giving up so easily. She tried again and again. Testing me over and over, just like a child.

I did not give in. I also did not get mad or frustrated. She was doing the only thing she knew how to do—to be repetitive, get loud, even scare me into listening in order to be heard. I knew instinctively she needed boundaries, not a laissez-faire attitude. Responses, not reactions. Discipline, not control. Love, not neglect. And it was my job to give it to her.

Over time, we stumbled and fell, but we persisted. If I was not going to follow her down the rabbit hole, she stopped sniffing around it.

When I fully got that the little girl was me, we sealed the deal. That little girl was screaming for my attention because she was never praised for who she was, never loved for who she was, never allowed to just be herself. I simply let her be. 

The little girl whose boundaries were trampled, and who was loved—conditionally—never gave up. She was that stubborn, amazing child who would not be silenced. The part who still wanted to be acknowledged and heard. I grew to respect her.

It does not matter how we get there: through meditation, connecting with nature, or following our breath. Take some space and we will see that our thoughts are us! They are not our enemy or something to run from.

Among other things, they simply need a little love, patience, and understanding.

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It's About Time We All Begin to Get a Little Angry.

I believe in anger. I also believe in fighting. Not fighting with our fists up, spewing words of hatred, creating resistance, defensiveness and separation. Not fighting against someone or something, but fighting for what we know is possible. Fighting for a better way, a better life and a better world. Fighting for what we believe is beautiful when we are conscious, and tapping into our anger is the first step. 

Anger means our boundary, our rights, our safety or our future has been violated or threatened.

Anger, a human emotion, is not wrong or bad. Demanding that justice be served or speaking out against the abuse of power stems from the beauty of anger. Using anger to pull our self up after another knocks us down, is healing. There is nothing more powerful than channeling our anger into what we believe. 

We need to allow our anger to rise to the top, so it does not come out sideways on an unsuspecting innocent victim or take a U-turn, where we may use it against our self. It is the stuffing down or denying that creates the explosive anger that is harmful, giving anger a bad rap.

Anger is a beautiful emotion giving us the fuel to fight for our rights, our dignity and our honor.

Fighting means we have hope. We have not given up. We know that change is possible. We need to tap into our anger and take action. We need to find our voice that urges us to leave that abusive relationship, make that phone call, demand that meeting, write that email or grab that picket sign. 

Fighting means we have the courage to say no. Not on my watch.

Fighting begins with anger and continues with passion. Fighting with respect and honor, helps us figure out with a clear head what needs to be done to make permanent changes in our life and our world.

We are all connected, and when we fight for our self, we fight for another. When we fight for another, we fight for our world.

Yet, we need to fight for, not against. We don’t want to fight a war on drugs, we want to fight for recovery, where we people feel safe enough to heal their addictions. We don’t want to fight a war against cancer, we want to fight for prevention and health.

When I feel into the world, I am blessed to see fighting happening at all corners of our earth. 

I see a boy in a coma fighting for his life after being hit by a drunk driver.

I see a mother fighting for her child who is being bullied in school.

I see a couple fighting for their marriage, creating new patterns of communication.

I see a store owner fighting for his livelihood.

I see a professional soccer player fighting for her right for equal pay. 

I see a survivor fighting for those who have not yet found their voice. 

I see a courageous girl fighting for the world to take notice about the seriousness of our current climate crisis.

I see a soldier fighting for the freedom of others.

I see a teen fighting for her self-worth within the lure of peer pressure.

I see an addict fighting for recovery. 

I see a protestor fighting for the rights to control her own body.

I see a husband fighting to keep his home from going into foreclosure.

I see a football player fighting for the rights of shelter pets.  

I see patients fighting for their health.

I see a homeless man fighting to stay alive one more day.

Our world is not hopeless, even when we seem to be dragging our feet.  Don’t stop fighting. In fact, when we up the ante, we encourage others there is hope. That our life, our families, our country and our world know better. That we can do better.

It’s about time we all begin to get a little angry. Our world depends on it.

What is Happiness?

Happiness comes in moments, each and every day.

Happiness is also the most misunderstood state of being. It is not outside experiences or getting what we want that creates true happiness. It is not about what job we do, or how much money we have. True happiness occurs when we are deep in feeling and connection. When we express emotion. When we put down our defenses, and open our heart.

We can feel happy while tears are falling, and we can feel happy sitting and looking out upon a field of wildflowers. We can feel happy playing a game of basketball or knitting a sweater. We can feel happy listening to music, dancing or cooking. Happiness is not the experience, but an inner state that is created by the opening of our heart.

Whatever opens your heart, do that. When life feels overwhelming, do that. When challenges arise, do that. Do what makes your heart smile. And you will see that a happy life is created by the moments where we felt most alive and connected, when we took a risk and opened our hearts.

It is not about how much time we have on this earth, but how often we have opened our hearts.

To purchase our book filled with inspirational messages from the afterlife, visit us at:
www.thesacredletters.com

We Should be Used to Endings, But This One Hits Us Hard

My first sign that things were changing in our town was a friend’s post on Facebook, “We are moving to Colorado.” My friend’s leaving felt contagious, as she was the first in a long line of empty nesters flying the coop.

The “For Sale” signs began to scream a reality that along with the empty nest, comes the empty neighborhood. When our kids graduate high school, we all have deeper wrinkles, more time on our hands, and endings that seem to hit us hard. The empty neighborhood was no exception.

We should be used to life’s endings by the time our kids go off to college. Every day we say goodbye to the sun going missing beyond the horizon, while seasons naturally carry us through endings every three months. We learn to make the most of endings with birthday parties and graduation celebrations signifying life’s transitions.

In our town, the most obvious celebrated ending is the three-day Labor Day weekend carnival celebration, distracting us as summer bleeds into “back to school” season. The first years of attending the carnival, our children’s tiny, sticky fingers gripped paper cones of pink cotton candy.

As time passed, we watched our kids crash and burn at the hard-to-win carnival games, screaming on the stomach dropping rides and indulging in the deeply rewarding zeppolis. Years later, dropping off our teens a block away, and texting to coordinate pick up was the norm.

Looking upon those familiar streets now, I can only see the ghosts of my daughters and their friends, texting, laughing. In their place are unfamiliar faces, strange voices, younger mothers. A feeling washes over me of being out of place, or rather replaced. No different than the final scene in the movie, St Elmo’s Fire. The Brat Pack, heads to their favorite hangout, St. Elmo’s Bar, but think better of it when they notice a new group of freshman sitting at their table.closeVolume 0% 

It’s how the movie ends, and how many relationships feel when time urges us forward, a sad but accurate reality about life. Yet if we had seen the sequel to St Elmo’s Fire, we would have watched them all grow up, get married, have children and eventually look out upon their empty neighborhoods.

Life’s circle suddenly becomes more obvious, like an insight to a problem I have never before solved; new beginnings always follow endings. The tearful mothers I see pulling their kindergartners from their clutches, will also eventually smash up against their teen’s SAT prep courses. We all must keep moving forward, because we have no choice.

Yet, there are always good things ahead. We can drag our feet as time changes, or let life take us forward. It is not easy. These five strategies help me almost enjoy each ending, knowing I will soon unwrap a gift of a new beginning.

5 Things That Help When Relationships End

1. Sadness. Nobody enjoys feeling sad, but it is a necessary emotion in life. Thinking about all those happy memories: prom, nail biting soccer games, carpool chats about life – while shedding some tears helps. Reminisce quietly or in a group about when your kids were young, and how this phase of life felt chaotic, but deeply rewarding.

2. Say goodbye. When friendships change, whether you are still as close or not, it is important to say goodbye. You can do this with a friend or simply to yourself. Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Some of these friends who we spent hours texting or sitting beside at the sports games, we may never see again. What we had in common may have passed, even if we developed a friendship that went beyond our kids. Plan that last dinner or go out for a drink. Laugh, cry and wish them well.

3. Make new friends. You may have to start over making new friends who have nothing to do with your children. Perhaps someone older who you would not normally get to know or someone younger to mentor may be a welcome change. Taking on a new role can be rewarding and life affirming.

4. Become closer with your spouse. While raising your children, friendships were your savior, but now that the neighborhood feels emptier, you and your spouse can fill it with romantic evenings, Netflix movies and weekends away visiting old friends. Confide in each other, and remember you are in this together. You are not alone and you may be surprised that he/she is feeling the same way.

5. Look for the new beginnings. Endings are a part of life, but new beginnings are too. When the endings feel hard, know that change can bring new life into your life, home and relationship. Welcome the excitement, adventures, opportunities and freedom that new beginnings offer with open arms.

Change is inevitable; challenging but also a gift. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and just feel those longings. Better yet, go rent St. Elmo’s Fire with a glass of wine. Laugh and cry along with this heartwarming story about how life moves on, and so do we.

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Thank you Grown and Flown for your wonderful edits and publication. Please find my article originally published here: https://grownandflown.com/moving-after-empty-nest/

Feeling stuck? As an intuitive healer and certified Reiki Level II practitioner with a Masters in Psychology and Wellness Coaching Certificate, I offer one on one Intuitive Healing Sessions.

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Grief has its own Timeline & that’s Beautiful.

When I lost my son in 2004, I hid myself from the world.

There were days I did not get dressed. I did not want to face anyone who would mistakenly ask, “How are you doing?” The answer was too long, horrifying. It felt like agony to even think about how I was doing.

I don’t hide any longer, but I still go it alone. My grief likes to be by itself, without company. And I allow it to take as long as it likes.

As an empath and intuitive healer, I’ve been tapping into a collective grief. Whether you are reacting to the devastation of the Australian fires or facing the loss of a loved one, grief is one of the deepest human emotions we experience.

I also feel an opening around the energy of grief, an invitation for people to process it on their own terms, which has not always been the case: Grief has been put on a timeline—either by ourselves or another. Grief has been an inconvenience, a feeling we would prefer not to feel.

But when we open to it fully, grief doesn’t need to be scheduled or inconvenient. To allow ourselves to feel whatever is coming up is actually a relief.

Grief comes in waves, and passes when we allow it to come and go, much like ocean waves. At times, the current of grief is so strong that it pulls us away from shore, leaving us treading water. Do not panic. We will find our way back when the waters are calm.

Whether grief lingers for a moment or a year does not matter. We jump back into life when we are ready. There is no shame in feeling like we are too sad to take part in life.

And even when we allow ourselves to feel grief outright, it can also burrow itself into our body. For me, I feel it as an ache in my heart, which is why the term “heartache” feels so appropriate.

Although my son passed away 16 years ago, I unearthed more grief around his loss a few months ago, unexpectedly.

On my way to the mall, I drove past a turtle trying to cross the road. Wanting to help, I turned my car around. By the time I got back to the turtle, it was too late. Another car unknowingly ran it over.

I was devastated and began sobbing. I sobbed for the turtle, who simply wanted to cross the road. I sobbed for myself, who witnessed life and death so up-close-and-personal—it burned a hole straight into my soul.

I also sobbed for my son.

It appears, even after all this time, I still had some grieving to do. There is no better time to heal past grief that we unknowingly push aside than when life gives us the opportunity to do so without asking.

I feel we all have an opportunity to process our grief, both obvious and hidden, within the chaos we are confronted with these days.

Do not underestimate the effect life has on us. We live in a chaotic world that seems to play with people’s lives like a casual game of tag. Taking time each day to care for ourselves helps. When we release what we take in, we breathe easier.

Our world is changing, shifting. We are taking off the masks we used to hide behind and walking toward truth and humility. The time is now.

We can wake up kicking and screaming, or we can take someone’s hand and walk away from the past’s brilliant disguises toward a future that is more authentically us. The energy is right.

Let’s welcome our grief and come face-to-face with the unconditional love within our hearts.

Feeling stuck? As an intuitive healer and certified Reiki Level II practitioner with a Masters in Psychology and Wellness Coaching Certificate, I offer one on one Intuitive Healing Sessions.

Follow me on Facebook for daily inspirational posts.

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Previously published on Elephant Journal: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/01/grief-has-its-own-timeline-and-thats-beautiful-beth-mund/

The Light of Hope

Through hope, we find the strength to climb from the hole we call grief. When facing loss, we have no choice but to let go, discovering both humility and faith within the pain of a shattered heart. Humility helps us fall to our knees and admit we are powerless over what shows up in life, and faith carries us through our pain to the other side. We cannot know what awaits us, but we must have the faith that we can face whatever arises.

It is for us to someday rejoice. Not in the struggle we endured, but in the knowing that we had the strength to climb out of the hole, walk through the dark, and emerge into the light of hope.

Should we have loved at all? Why risk the pain of loss?

It is why we are here. To feel deeply. To love deeply. And yes, to lose deeply.

For the family who loses their son to suicide. For the mother who loses her sister to illness. For the daughter who loses her father to addiction. For the child who loses his friend to an accident.

We may blame God. We may blame our self. We may blame life. We have a right to our anger. We have a right to our sadness. We are entitled to grieve, and to heal. We will one day smile again. We will know that sadness is as much a part of life, as laughter. And when we embrace both equally, we do not resist what life brings. We welcome it all though our sorrow and joy, ease and challenges. We move beyond the stories, we feel the depth of grief, knowing it is a part of life.

Someday our scars, made of gold, will be shining for all to see. We will know we made it through our darkest moments. Step by step. Tear by tear. Heart by heart.

We are never alone, for grief touches us all.

If we continue searching, we will see that although we have lost, we have also loved beyond what is safe, or comfortable. When we allow our hearts to burst open in sadness and joy, we know that the love within us never dies. It gently guides us forward towards hope.

No matter how our story ends, we would not change a thing. For we know, to have loved is to have lived.

-For the families in our community, and those around the world that are facing unimaginable grief at the loss of a loved one.

#hope #grief #loss #love

How to know if you are a Lightworker.

According to Google, a lightworker is “a special person with almost psychic ability to intuit what other people are thinking, feeling, or need in order to heal.”

Wrong!

We do not need psychic abilities to be a lightworker. I have seen lightworkers busy doing their thing, everywhere, every day.

My son is a lightworker when he snuggles up to me and utters, “I love you, mommy.”

My dog is a lightworker when she wags her tail and licks a stranger’s hand.

The man who pumps my gas who asks me a question instead of staring at his phone is a lightworker. The stranger who passes me on the street, meeting my eyes, followed by his warm smile, is a lightworker.

Children are lightworkers, bringing their vulnerability and openness to everyone they meet.

A lightworker is someone who wants to yell back at her Facebook friend for the post about a political candidate of the opposing political party, but instead writes, “Thanks for sharing,” and takes a walk instead.

A lightworker takes a moment before lashing out at Verizon for charging so much for service. A lightworker is the one who lashes out before apologizing for taking out their money frustrations on a stranger.

A lightworker connects us to the feelings of regret or sadness through the words of a song, and is the one who listens in the quiet of their bedroom, weeping alone.

The man who stands in the freezing temperatures directing traffic away from the road construction is a lightworker, as well as the one who puts her hands upon a man’s leg, healing his tumor.

Deer grazing and birds flying in unison are lightworkers, as is the homeless man who tugs at our heartstrings, reminding us to have gratitude for all we have been given in life.

The grief-stricken man who forgives the police officer who shot his unarmed brother and the woman who bakes homemade chocolate chip cookies, spreading sweetness in the world, are lightworkers.

The young woman who stands up in court, speaking her anger and grief to her perpetrator, is a lightworker.

We do not have to have a profession as a spiritual teacher or become Instagram famous to be a lightworker. Handing another a blanket when they are cold, letting a car pass in front even when we are in a rush, texting a friend whose radio silence could be a sign of her struggles, and saying “I am sorry” are all signs of lightworkers doing our job.

Getting out of bed when we feel like hiding and standing in front of an audience speaking about “shame and vulnerability” are the actions of a lightworker. Sharing our story so others feel less alone and listening to a friend with all our attention are signs of lightworkers doing our thing.

Lightworkers fall down and break apart. We also get back up. We remember it is our mission to walk away when our soul is waking up, and then to help another do the same.

We stop in the road to help a deer who has wandered out into traffic, and put a hot meal on the table for our family. We take our children out for ice cream, and laugh when we see their face covered in chocolate. We get our hands dirty, and clean up our messes when we make a mistake. We work long hours so our family can go on vacation at the beach. We collect clothing for those who are in need and send cards to our elderly grandmother who feels alone in the world.

All lightworkers are angels, their wings hidden beneath their human facade.

We all came here to be lightworkers. We just need to get on to how we are to use our gifts in the world. We may become a comedian creating laughter, or we may be willing to pick up everyone’s trash each Monday. We may organize rides for those without cars, or give temporary jobs to the unemployed.

We connect one another by running support groups, networking lunches, and book clubs. We share what is on our mind and in our hearts.

Lightworkers are agents of change, bringing light into the darkness.

The whistleblower. The mother who allows her son, the addict, to become lost and hit rock bottom so that he can find his way back. These are lightworkers.

A lightworker is even the person who takes the time to put on a new roll of toilet paper for the next person.

Lightworkers reach out, cry, laugh, lend a hand, say no, speak the truth, face their fears, fetch the newspaper, create beautiful bows, cook, clean, love, share, respond, walk away, and connect. They are healing our world.

The next time you pass someone on the street, look them in the eye, smile, and say silently or aloud, “Thank you.” And then give yourself the same gratitude.

For more inspirational and heartwarming messages, please visit my website at www.thesacredletters.com

 

What is Healing?

We hear the word healing so often in life. In the doctor’s office, on the therapist’s couch, in the spiritual community. Healing can be seen by a surgeon cutting us open or felt by a child whose mother kisses his skinned knee. We know our bodies, minds and souls can heal from many things in life. But what is healing really?

Healing is messy, as well as beautiful. It is heart wrenching and uncomfortable. Healing takes courage and strength. Healing is moving from feeling like a victim to knowing we are a survivor. Healing is finding our voice, even after it was stuffed down for so many years.

Healing is taking a risk to change jobs, move our home or stand up to the person who has been bullying us, no matter how afraid we feel. Healing is reliving our worst nightmare and taking a stab at our grandest daydream. Healing is facing our demons and feeling what it brings up for us. Healing is walking away from a relationship that hurts us, no matter how much we still love them.

Healing is going to the store for a gallon of milk and having a meltdown because the size we want is not available. Healing is also realizing that a half gallon would have been fine, under normal circumstances. Healing is looking inward at our self and asking what makes us happy? What we can do better? How are we really feeling?

Healing as doing what we came here to do in this life, no matter how distracting life becomes. Healing is following our gut, and pushing through our doubt and fear. Healing is changing the way we have always thought because it simply is not working anymore. Healing is taking care of our self, giving our self what we need for the first time. Healing is saying yes to what we want and no to what we don’t. Healing is taking a chance and asking someone to be there for us, risking rejection.

Healing is asking for that raise, knowing we are worth more. Healing is knowing we will find strength in overcoming adversity. Healing is doing as we say. Healing is putting down that drink, or other addiction that is wreaking havoc on our life and asking for help in doing so.

Healing is walking through vulnerability and showing our true self to the world. Healing is knowing the shame that comes from this raw exposure is temporary and we can do it all again. Healing is putting away our technology and looking in the eye of the person sitting across from us. Healing is simply being alive.

Healing is not reacting to another who triggers us on social media, nor blindly following a politician who is leading us astray. Healing is no longer separating the message from the messenger knowing this never works. Healing is addressing someone’s character even if it affects your bottom line.

Healing is putting away those negative thoughts, the ones that come time and again, because they are not who we really are. Healing is doing something different, than we did the day before. Healing is cursing, screaming, running, journaling, walking, painting, gardening, noticing, exploring, meditating, listening, adoring and inviting.

Healing is learning something new, even if we are afraid to fail. Healing is making a mistake, losing our job, or experiencing divorce, death, illness or injury. Healing is seeing our anxiety as trying to reveal something to us that we have stuffed down, and understanding our depression is the space we are given to breathe, feel, change our thinking, our behavior and our life. Healing is addressing our past and choosing our future.

Healing is moving one inch to the left and seeing the bigger picture of a traumatic event. Healing is forgiving our self and another, when we are ready. Healing is showing up at court and doing our community service. Healing is taking a class at sixty years old and taking time off before college at eighteen.

Healing is breathing, sleeping, smiling, laughing and loving. Healing is a bear hug, when we feel like frightened fawn. Healing is speaking the truth, finding our voice, and calling out injustice for what it is. Healing is knowing we are not our zip code, the numbers in our bank account, our our children’s achievements.

Healing is saying no to a tyrant, a racist, a perpetrator, a bully, a dictator for another, who does not have the courage or strength to speak out for him self. Healing is manning up when we are caught, finding the courage to admit to unconscious behavior even when it affects your popularity, pocketbook or freedom. Healing is recognizing an agent of change, no matter what he looks, acts or seems to be.

Healing is protecting our children at all costs from unclean conditions, dirty water, abuse, neglect, and harm. Healing is hearing the screams within the sounds of silence. Healing is taking risks to believe the first victim that comes forward, not waiting for more to collaborate the story.

Healing is nonviolent protests and open conversations across cities, states, countries and continents. Healing is entertaining another viewpoint, for the sake of respect. Healing is no longer putting entertainers, politicians, musicians, the wealthy, the white, the educated, above the law, and on pedestals.

Healing is knowing that nothing is wrong or right in our life, but everything is here to help us.

Nothing is a coincidence and we are never alone. To take in the beauty of a flower, and the movement of a poem is to know healing. There is a bigger picture, and healing is stopping for a moment each day to look just below the surface, knowing that we are all part of something bigger than our self.

Healing is happening in every moment when we choose to live from our soul, and to become guided by our heart. Life will always lead us where we need to be. We never have to look too far for healing.

For more inspirational messages on healing, please visit our website at www.thesacredletters.com

We Often Do Not Know What We Are Capable Of, Until Suddenly We Do.

It was fifteen years ago, when I sat across from my husband in Atlantic City. We chatted over a very greasy, breakfast buffet. “All you can eat” meant we had eaten a lot and after a weekend of romantic dinners and losing some money in the name of fun, we felt relaxed and tired. It was then the idea popped into my mind. “I want to write a teen book,” I uttered. “I think it is going to be about a girl who commits suicide and leaves notes for her classmates. It is these notes which unlock the reason why she ended her life.”

I have always loved writing but when I was a child, I wanted to be a professional football player. More specifically, a Dallas Cowboy. I loved their uniforms and I could play a pretty good game of touch football in the street. I didn’t realize that there are things girls just didn’t do. In many ways, I still don’t. I have never believed in limits. So, while I waited to become bigger and stronger to have a try-out with Dallas, I created stories in my mind. 

I wrote when I felt excited or scared, and always returned to my pen and paper when life became both wonderful and overwhelming. Outside of school, I wrote long letters to my camp friend across the never-ending northeastern winters. 

Then I fell in love – with Judy Blume. 

I sat for hours devouring her books that spoke about painful emotions, worrisome thoughts and never before talked about stuff. She wrote about controversial topics that nobody else had been talking about. Stuff that I was both living through and hiding within myself.

I began to write about this difficult stuff, too. But it was my stuff. My entire fourth grade year of writing was filled up with tough experiences, coupled with lessons, insights and inspirational happy endings. 

I went on to minor in creative writing in college, not caring where it would take me, just that writing made me feel alive. When my girls were little, I awoke each morning at 5 am to write. I cherished this time, sipping coffee, laptop in hand and connecting with my imagination. It was then I created a series of middle grade fiction called Crabby Gabby. Makes sense as my daughter’s name is Gabby. Yet, I did nothing with the books. Maybe I sent them to a few agents with no response and gave up? Maybe I got too busy driving to soccer practices and bake sales? Maybe it was not meant to be? But for whatever the reason, I found it funny when my daughter came home from babysitting this summer and told me the child had a book called, “Crabby Gabby.” That ship had sailed, and I had waved goodbye.

In between all this writing, I was being prepared for something greater (spoiler alert – we all are, we just need to get onto it). Yet, life had been throwing me lemons since childhood, one after the other, and I was growing tired of trying to make lemonade. There had to be something I was meant to do when I grew up, but I wasn’t getting to it. 

I refused to give up.

I began delving into spiritual books, seeking answers as to why life seemed to challenge me so often. It was then that I began tossing the lemons onto paper. I wrote about the losses, traumas and challenges we all face in life. And as I wrote through some intense grief, I began to find my inspirational happy endings again. I created my blog Alternative Perspective and continued sharing what I was thinking, feeling and learning about life. 

I found success publishing parenting articles, short stories, and essays; but I was not yet playing for The Dallas Cowboys, nor was I the next Judy Blume. There was something more I was meant to do, but what was it? I wanted people to know that life was meant to be difficult, incredible, creative, hysterical, abysmal and amazing, and that I had seen, felt, experienced it all.

The Universe is always helping us. I felt as if God was looking down upon me thinking, “I have given her all these ideas and she does not do ‘shit’ with them.” Probably not in those exact words, as I am fairly certain God does not swear. Perhaps it was more like, “You need to give up playing for The Dallas Cowboys, but in exchange, I am going to help you put some of these wonderful ideas into action so you can fulfill your purpose on this glorious earth.”

It was then I met my now great friend and co-author, Berit Stover by accident. Or was it? 

I believe we were always meant to become co-authors and working together feels so familiar and right. We come from different paths, each with our own talents and are guided to be present and attentive in bringing forward these messages to be shared. Berit and I complement each other in our strengths and have the patience and drive to put into action what is meant to be. 

When we grow up, we change, but not everything. I still like football, but now my allegiance is to New York Giants and with every prayer, I ask, “Are you there God? It’s me, Beth.”  I still believe anything is possible. I look for the miracles, the rainbows and the happy endings, knowing that fear, doubt, failures and obstacles are just as much a part of life as laughter and joy. We cannot avoid pain, but we can choose not to suffer.

Our book, Living Beyond Fear: Sacred Letters from the Afterlife is unlike any other book written, and well worth the wait. I think Judy Blume would be proud that we speak to the truth, addressing challenges within all our life stories, while reminding us all of the always present inspiration, hope and love. 

How amazing would it be to receive a letter from one of your loved ones from the afterlife?

This is what our book is about, coupled with almost unbelievable scenarios on how we came across these spirits. Some of them well known, some strangers to us. There is a yoga teacher, a grandparent, a child, a well known musician, even a dog.

When that great idea I had in Atlantic City came to life, the book, 13 Reasons Why was published. My husband later exclaimed to me, “That could have been your story!” I never wrote that story, but someone did. Someone took action because it was his story to write. Life had other plans for me, only it took some time to get there.

We never know what is in store for us, or what we will be when we grow up. My writing had to evolve as I grew in years, and my gifts for connecting with the spiritual realm to transcribe pages of words from spirits in the form of Sacred Letters in just sheer minutes became better known to me over time.

We often do not know what we are capable of, until suddenly we do.

Not that a girl won’t ever become a professional football player, because anything is possible, but it is not going to be me. 

www.thesacredletters.com

Living Beyond Fear: Sacred Letters from the Afterlife is available now on Amazon!

What Humpty Dumpty Really Taught Me About Feeling Broken.

One of the most difficult things about living in our chaotic world is figuring out how to live beyond the fear, doubt and separation. How to remain loving and compassionate with our hearts open even when it seems as if loneliness, illness, divorce, job loss, addictions, and even death have been a part of all of our lives. Yet feeling broken, depressed, anxious, lost, bored, rejected, not good enough, or even like we have failed in some way, are all incredible opportunities.

If you are alive, you have been broken in some way. Some of us have been shattered, and the process of putting our self back together feels like walking up a mountain covered with ice. We finally figure out a way to move forward only to slide back down, losing our momentum. Others have been split in two or more pieces. Some of us, slightly cracked. 

Whether we need glue, cement or additional tools to help us mend is not important. Becoming whole requires the same process, whether you have been shattered or slightly cracked. 

Like Humpty Dumpty, we know we have fallen off the wall but do not know how to put our self back together.

Fixing our self in the broken places is the most difficult task we may take on in life. It means we begin to peel back the layers, dispelling the lies we so often tell our self. “I cannot change.” or “I’m fine, really.” And we must resist the urge to convince everyone that we are doing well, perhaps fooling nobody. It means we stop running, distracting, using substances – drugs, food, alcohol and the Internet. We understand we need not be a slave to our negative thoughts, or even self-imposed optimism. 

These are all simply defenses, coping mechanisms that have created a false self in order to get up after our fall; or even just to survive in our world today. But there is a far simpler way. And that is to feel – to get out of our heads and move into our hearts.

Living from our hearts is no easy task; but the most important ingredient to living a life of peace, joy and love no matter what happens to us. If splintering off, cracking or losing pieces of our self has left us broken, feeling through our hearts puts us on the path back to wholeness. Yet it is feeling the darkest of feelings, those we avoid on a regular basis, that is the key to putting our self back together again. 

Becoming whole is a process; one that takes courage, commitment and effort. Yet the rewards are enormous. The pathway involves becoming aware, releasing judgment, admitting the truth, finding support, and lastly feeling those hidden feelings of anger, loneliness, fear, doubt and grief. 

Becoming Aware

There is a voice, a watcher, an observer in each one of us. This is our higher self, consciousness, intuition and we all need to be able to tap into our higher self. In order to do so, we need to begin watching our thoughts and actions. We need to become curious. Why would I react in that way? What does this situation or person remind me of? We need to become aware of our critical thoughts, and where they come from. We need to learn how we think, and how we avoid feeling the hard stuff. 

Release Judgment

We are all beautiful human beings prone to making mistakes. That is how we learn. Judging these mistakes keeps us broken. We need to find compassion for our self so that we can heal or mend. Having judgment for what has happened to us by another person or something we have done to another, keeps us stuck. If we release judgment, we can free our self to speak the truth of how and where we have become broken. Releasing judgment requires moving beyond our mind, releasing those critical thoughts. 

Admitting the Truth

Opening up to what has been our experience or even what we are feeling in any given moment helps us heal. We need to admit the truth to our self that we have fallen off the wall. If we have been pushed, we need to accept the pain another has inflicted upon us. If we have jumped, we need to understand why. Pretending, denial, lying and covering up what has happened and how this has made us feel keeps us broken, lying next to the wall, unable to get up.

Support

Sharing with another how we have become broken helps to release not only our shame about falling but what we have done to hide the fact that we feel broken. For shame survives – in darkness and silence. Someone who has been shattered may need someone at the top of a mountain with a rope helping us climb the ice ridden jagged edges. Others, who do not need to climb a mountain, can find relief in journaling, walking, and healing in solace.

Once we walk through some of our defenses, we are ready to feel.

Opening our heart to powerful feelings is the ultimate piece in becoming whole. Feeling what we have stuffed down, ran from, what has broken us is not easy. There is a reason that we have not fully felt these feelings. We think they are painful. But the secret remains in knowing that what is painful is the resistance to these feelings. Feeling our shame, deep grief and rage feels beautiful. Running, stuffing, distracting, avoiding is what is painful. 

These steps are not linear but circular, and we must go back to them time and again. With each step backwards, or new insight, we must remember to continue observing, releasing judgment, admitting the truth and finding support. 

What would Humpty Dumpty look like had he took on the task of becoming whole?

He would have spent less time on social media in order to be able to pay more attention to his thoughts, feelings and actions. He would have shared his experience of falling off the wall in a journal, with a trusted friend or support group. He would have consistently resisted the urge to pour himself a drink to distract himself. He would have released judgment and blame about all of the king’s horses and men who could not help him, for he would have learned that he had to help himself. It was never their job to put him back together. And he would have continued asking himself as much as possible, what am I feeling

Why would Humpty Dumpty or any of us undertake such an arduous task of putting our self back together, becoming whole? 

We do it because it is why we are here – to evolve, heal and change. Healing and soul growth is the purpose of life no matter what our outside looks like. Our marriages, jobs, parenting or how we spend our leisure time is simply an opportunity to evolve and become whole. We do it because it leads us down the path of connection, unconditional love, joy and a life of unlimited possibilities. 

“There is nothing to fix and everything to feel.”Peter, Living Beyond Fear: Sacred Letters from the Afterlife.

We all deserve to find our way back to wholeness. The secret is our souls are always whole, no matter our experiences here in life. They are just hidden underneath layers and falling off the wall has given us the opportunity to uncover our hearts through pain, adversity and remembering how to feel. 

If Humpty Dumpty knew that everyone falls off the wall and he was not beyond repair, he would have been able to take the steps to put himself back together again. And then he would have uncovered the secret that he was never actually broken because he fell off the wall. In truth, falling off the wall was the best thing that ever happened to him. 

Please visit our website for information about our new book

www.thesacredletters.com